Among all the swirling things in my head, the numbers, the hope, the regrets is a longing for someone to say, "Hey it's gonna be okay. I don't know how. It just will be. I'll be here for you, no worries." This has never happened. This will never happen. This is most frustrating. Trust, faith, hope? What the fuck are those words or concepts? What the fuck do they mean to me? I'm still searching. In the mean time I write another sad song. I wait for the approval to validate my struggles and accomplishments. The mystery will never truly be revealed even though I've written it and sang it countless times in plain sight. This place is stifling, everything about it, everyone in it. It wouldn't make sense to run before I knew what or where I was running to, it's not my nature or is that the point? Just the get the fuck out abruptly? I have come so far to do nothing and I've done nothing to have come so far.
